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Why Assumptions Ruin Relationships

In our world we make assumptions everyday because we just do not have the time to stop and verify the facts about everything. We make assumptions that we have enough air in our tires and that our alarm clock will go off in the morning, however, when we make assumptions about people we can find ourselves in a place where we start judging and destroying relationships. I have found myself in a position far too often where people make assumptions about  how they think I feel and what they think that something I said, did or wrote meant. Sadly, their assumptions are almost always wrong! I think that it is far better to communicate with people in our lives rather than make assumptions that can ruin good relationships.

Our minds have the need to “know.” When we don’t know, we make assumptions – they make us feel safer than not knowing. And we are pretty much always making assumptions. We assume that we know how someone is going to react to us. We assume that our efforts will or will not be successful. And not only do we believe our assumptions about what other people are thinking, but then we end up taking those assumptions personally and even end up resenting the person. To avoid assumptions, ask questions. It takes courage to trust the present moment, to allow other people to be exactly who they are, and to let life unfold according to its own plan… and it avoids a great deal of suffering.
-Don Miguel Ruiz

We make assumptions when we don’t fully understand a situation. It is a natural reaction to immediately fill in any missing information by making up our own story. We do this because we like to try to make sense of people and situations. The problem with this is that most of the time our story is incorrect which causes all kinds of complications. The fact is, we don’t know what the truth is unless we ask.
by Stephanie Ward, M.A.

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