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30 Something

I have been pondering a lot about my 30’s and I have come to my conclusion that my 30’s have been the best era of my life thus far. In November of this year I turned 36. I thought that this would be a hard age since I am now closer to 40 than to thirty. The day came and went just like any other and I really did not feel depressed about it as I had anticipated. As I reflect back on my life I can think of great things but I really did not know who I was and what I wanted until I entered my 30’s. My 20’s were a time of absolute confusion. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life or who I was. The strongest memory that I have of my 20’s is actually really depressing… The memory is this. I would wake up on a Saturday morning and I would think to myself “Is this it? Is this as good as life gets because I am pretty BOARD!!!” It was a sad thought and I really cannot tell you why felt that way other than I was lost. For me it took a major event in my life to change that feeling and to give me the freedom to figure out who I really was and what I really wanted. The interesting thing is that I learned about myself was that I had been trying to be someone that I thought that someone else wanted me to be and I was not being me at all. The ironic part of this situation is I lost that someone in the process but that ended up being the best things that ever happened to my life. Had that event not occurred I think that I would have lived the rest of my life never being free to be me and always wondering if life was truly that boring.

 

My 30’s have not been easy by any means. Life has brought many challenges but the greatest thing that I have is Jesus and knowing who I am and exactly what I want. I have also never once woke up in my 30’s and thought “is this as good as life will get”? I have also never felt board. I think learning who you are in one of the best gifts that we can give ourselves because it allows you to live your life with a purpose.

 

Now that I am a mom my life feels so directed and goal oriented. I think when you find yourself in the parent role and responsible for a little life that completely changes you. I know that this has changed me for the better and it makes me strive to be a better person everyday. Having children holds me accountable for the choices I make in my life and I love that! I have truly never found anything more enjoyable than being a mom. Parenting can also be one of the more frustrating things in life but the rewards far out way anything negative.

 

I think that 2008 is going to be a year of major changes and some difficult decisions but I am still loving my 30’s. I feel that I am in place where I really know myself and I can make good decisions based on what is best for my family. I am really trying to focus on Jesus and being happy in the moment regardless of what may be going on. I have realized in my 30’s that happiness comes from within andto be happy from within we have to be happy now, not six months from now and not when we get the house we want, the car we want etc. My goal for myself is to wake up each more with the best intentions for my day and to choose happiness because the alternative is so depressing!
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