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My Little Sweetie!

I feel so helpless when my kid’s are sick. My 4 year old Kinley has had a high fever for the past two days. Yesterday she only made it off of the couch to go to the bathroom. The poor thing slept all day and her fever had reached 104 by the evening. I finally just put her in a luke warm bath and that really helped to bring her temperature down. I just hate it when my girls are sick. I just want to take away their misery. Kinley keeps asking me “mommy, when will I feel better” and all I can say is “soon sweetie”. 

It is 6:30 pm. right now and both of my girls have been asleep for 30 minutes now. I really do not know what to do with myself. My evening usually revolves around them. I looked at my husband and asked him “what should we do?”  I cannot believe that they are both already asleep. I think that I may just have to read the new book that I bought today or watch a movie that does not involve a bunch of little cartoons… But, sadly to say I will probably just sit and work at my computer all night. I have so much to do between my two business and the list never ends. However, I am drnking a nice glass of red wine so that will probably put a stop to my working for the evening. A movie is starting to sound much better!!

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January 18, 2008 - 6:26 pm

Sarah Lewis - Ahhh poor Kinley, Oh Amiee, it is so hard when they are sick!
Hope she is getting better.

Sarah

30 Something

I have been pondering a lot about my 30′s and I have come to my conclusion that my 30′s have been the best era of my life thus far. In November of this year I turned 36. I thought that this would be a hard age since I am now closer to 40 than to thirty. The day came and went just like any other and I really did not feel depressed about it as I had anticipated. As I reflect back on my life I can think of great things but I really did not know who I was and what I wanted until I entered my 30′s. My 20′s were a time of absolute confusion. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life or who I was. The strongest memory that I have of my 20′s is actually really depressing… The memory is this. I would wake up on a Saturday morning and I would think to myself “Is this it? Is this as good as life gets because I am pretty BOARD!!!” It was a sad thought and I really cannot tell you why felt that way other than I was lost. For me it took a major event in my life to change that feeling and to give me the freedom to figure out who I really was and what I really wanted. The interesting thing is that I learned about myself was that I had been trying to be someone that I thought that someone else wanted me to be and I was not being me at all. The ironic part of this situation is I lost that someone in the process but that ended up being the best things that ever happened to my life. Had that event not occurred I think that I would have lived the rest of my life never being free to be me and always wondering if life was truly that boring.

 

My 30′s have not been easy by any means. Life has brought many challenges but the greatest thing that I have is Jesus and knowing who I am and exactly what I want. I have also never once woke up in my 30′s and thought “is this as good as life will get”? I have also never felt board. I think learning who you are in one of the best gifts that we can give ourselves because it allows you to live your life with a purpose.

 

Now that I am a mom my life feels so directed and goal oriented. I think when you find yourself in the parent role and responsible for a little life that completely changes you. I know that this has changed me for the better and it makes me strive to be a better person everyday. Having children holds me accountable for the choices I make in my life and I love that! I have truly never found anything more enjoyable than being a mom. Parenting can also be one of the more frustrating things in life but the rewards far out way anything negative.

 

I think that 2008 is going to be a year of major changes and some difficult decisions but I am still loving my 30′s. I feel that I am in place where I really know myself and I can make good decisions based on what is best for my family. I am really trying to focus on Jesus and being happy in the moment regardless of what may be going on. I have realized in my 30′s that happiness comes from within andto be happy from within we have to be happy now, not six months from now and not when we get the house we want, the car we want etc. My goal for myself is to wake up each more with the best intentions for my day and to choose happiness because the alternative is so depressing!
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Mommy Anxiety

Last night I had just given both of of girls their bath and put them in their jammies. They were playing in the living room just before bed time in this nylon like dog kennel. In retrospect I should not have been letting them play in this thing but they were having fun and being good so I did not think much about it. All of a sudden they crashed to the floor with my 2 year old Hadley landing on the hardwood floors head first. Now Haddie is seriously a walking accident. The girl is so active and she had already had 2 concussions and two chipped teeth all by the age of two. She was screaming as she always does when she gets hurt but I was not all that concerned at first since we have had many bumps and bruises. When I felt the bump in the back of her head my mommy anxiety came rushing through me. The bump was big and not only was it big but it felt mushy and it had a scratch down the middle of it. For some reason this just made my stomach turn and I felt that I need reassurance that she was oaky so off we went to urgent care. Hadley cried all the way to the doctors for Grandma, it was very sweet. The doctor took a look at her bump and said that she may have a slight concussion but that he was sure that she would be fine.
Mommy anxiety is so different from any other kind of worries that I have ever had. When my kids get hurt I actually get chills down my entire spin and just want to take the pain away from them. I think if I could just protect them in a plastic bubble for the rest of their lives I may have some peace. Unfortunately, this is not a realistic option so I will just play the over protective mommy roll for the rest of my life, God Help Me!
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My Beautiful Friend Adrianne

This week I took my amazing and beautiful friend Adrianne to her chemo appointment. Adrianne is a young mom of two little children and she is fighting breast cancer that has spread to her brain. Being in her presence just reminds me how how precious life is and that sometimes we just will never understand why bad things happen to good people. Adrianne inspires me everyday to be a better and stronger person. She has faced her challenge with so much strength and grace and I admire her so much.
After her chemo appointment we decided to go do our grocery shopping together. for such a simple event I had so much fun with her. Grocery shopping with a girlfriend adds fun to a dreaded chore. God has given me the best gift by bringing Adrianne into my life. I know that she has and will continue to teach me so many valuable lessons about life. She has helped me to be a better person and her faith in the lord encourages me so much with my own faith. Her friendship t me  a a blessing and I will cherish it always!
The photos of our day were taken by Hadley, pretty good for a 2 year old  =-)
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Beethoven Moment

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This weekend we had a large storm system come through Northern California. As I looked out the window I knew that our dogs would not enjoy going outside to do their duties in the rain and gusty winds. Our new puppy Princess Lacey was most displeased with this idea and she looked vey scared when I put her outside. When I went back to check on her a little bit later she was no where to be found. I figured that she must have been scared and was hiding in the yard.  Since my girls were crying for their puppy I went out into the rain to look for her.  I was walking around our yard calling her name and looking under the decks but I did not see her. Sure enough just when I was about to give up I saw this shadow in the dark under the deck, there she was, terrified and shaking and full of mud. The dog has wedged herself so far back under the deck that her belly was flat on the muddy ground and she could barely move.

As I carried her into the house she was dripping mud everywhere. I took her straight to the bathtub which she jumped out of and then ran down the hall and  straight towards our bedroom. As I saw her sprinting towards by bed with every intention to lead her muddy body onto my freshly washed bedding I stared screaming Noooooooooo in slow motion as the muddy mutt leaped onto my bed and slide her entire body from one end to the next. There were many four letter words that came spouting out of my mouth as I ripped her body off of my bed a carried it back to the bathtub. The dog was so muddy that we had to fill up the tub so she could take a real bath to get all of the dirt off. After her bath she got locked up in the kitchen to dry. I figured that she would just lay down and go to sleep after her big adventure but oh no, she was determined to get out of the kitchen. I have honestly never seen anything quiet like what she did. The dog successfully jump over a 4 foot high counter in the kitchen and into the family room. Now this is a little dog, she is half poodle and half shitzu so I have no clue how she pulled this off. I tried to convince my daughters that we should sell her to the circus but that was not accepted at all.

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January 29, 2008 - 2:01 am

Shelly - awwww…what an adoreable dog! We are big dog lovers here!

My New Blog…

I have wanted to start a personal blog for a long time but always found many good reasons for putting it off and many of them make so much sense. For one, I am a very busy work at home mom that does not need another project that will take up anymore of my time and secondly, I really do not need another project that will keep my butt at the computer any longer than it already is. Heck, I own two online business that are very busy and demanding, I love Myspace, I have a family website and I also have two business blogs all of which require me to be at the computer. What in the world am I thinking, why do I need another online distraction? Call me my own worst nightmare. I function very well when I am over committed and I love to multi-task so the busier I am the better because I have no clue how to RELAX!!

Anyway, here I am with my personal blog. This is merely just a way for me to release what bottles up inside of me. I call it mommy babble because that it what it will be. Lots of rantings and ravings about my life, the joys and challenges of motherhood, my hopes and dreams and my strong love for Jesus and my Christian faith.  Please note, I will have lost of typos in my blog, I often write late at night when I am exhausted, I type too fast and I am always being distracted my the world around me!

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